The pursuit of happiness is a treadmill, true happiness is a mountaintop. Not sure what I mean? Lets see if this makes sense.
Michael Eysenck is a British psychologist who developed the ‘Hedonic Treadmill Theory’. The theory discusses the concept that despite major positive and negative events, humans will go back to a relatively stable level of being. For example, if we make more money, our expectations tend to rise as well – resulting in no long term uptick in happiness. We become desensitized by the impact and therefore would need a bigger stimulus to get the temporary happiness/relief uptick again. This works with how we purchase items as well. We buy shoes, for example, that feel flashy and stylish until we get settled into the common use of them. Then we would need to buy more or different shoes to get the same flashy boost we were originally getting from the previous pair. Hedonic adaptation is the idea that no matter how amazing and lavish a purchase seems, we will get accustomed to it.
The problem is that we generally can’t maintain these outside stimulus boosts for a long period of time. Our happiness can’t be sustained in this way due to the other consequences that come along with these ‘boosts’ (financial strain, long work hours, missed social gatherings, clouded judgement).
We need to learn how to spend our money in such a way that increases long term happiness in a real concrete way- not short bursts. These are some tips that make your money more effective in your mental health.
Spending.
Don’t over spend. Set a budget and stick to it, with a little wiggle room. If we overspend we start to venture into stressful consequences of high credit card bills or taking away from other needed living items. If you are overspending, this needs to be addressed by creating success protocols and other coping skills.
Experience.
Spending money on experiences is better for long term happiness and general life satisfaction. Trips are not always perfect, but we tend to remember them as mostly happy. Both traveling solo and with others is beneficial in that it takes us out of our norm. We experience new things and get some rest from our day to day routines. Reminiscing also brings back these pleasant moments which helps in the longevity of happiness.
Get rid of stuff.
Live simpler with less stuff. The less we have, the more we tend to treasure the things we do have. We appreciate and value objects as more valuable, which in turn makes us less likely to run out and replace it. A good rule of thumb is if you have not used it in a year, it is time to give it away.
Be social.
As humans we tend to gauge the ‘richness’ of our life not by objects, but by the social interactions that we have. Social bond is more important- it can be argued that it is up there with food, water, and shelter. So take the time to find others to be social with- even smile at a stranger. Remember that it is about the experience, not the price tag. So go for a walk, eat a home cooked meal together, give someone a high five or just sit down for a short chat.
Romance it.
Really think about what you are about to buy and imagine what it will be like to have it. It may sound funny, but desire is a big piece of how much we appreciate something once we have it. Wait to buy the item and make sure to earn the money in full first. Put a jar out for that specific purchase. You feel successful when you finally get to your money goal and then again when you purchase the item itself. We appreciate it more this way and the anticipation makes it more of an experience.
My Challenge to you: So it is time to stop pursuing happiness and just get it. If you are always chasing outside happiness boosts, much like a treadmill you will not get anywhere. But if you take the time to map your route, work hard, and stay mentally focused; you might just find your mountaintop of happiness.
Happy mountaintop finding friends!
– Jessie the Therapist
Photo by:James Padolsey
