Have you ever watched one of those nature shows where a lion is eating a zebra while it is still alive and wondered- “How the hell is this zebra dealing with this?!? He is still breathing and they are ripping open his stomach!” The answer is- disassociation. And you may be doing right now and not even know.

 

Dissociation is actually a very smart coping skill. This happens when our outside world is too much for us (like your being eaten) and you can’t run away or fight (your pinned down by lions), your mind/mental process disconnects from your body/sense of self. You are still in your body and you are not unconscious, but everything becomes numb and processing slows way down.

Dissociation is on a spectrum and can change very quickly. Mild dissociation is like when we daydream or ‘zone out’. You can usually snap out of it relatively quick and most people do this on a regular basis without any impairment. Severe chronic dissociation is seen in disorders like Dissociative Identity Disorder or severe trauma. Between these two extremes is a ton of shades of dissociation which vary from person to person or situation to situation.

Being dissociated is an interesting feeling. You can feel numb to all emotion, good or bad. Some people describe it like they are watching themselves behind glass or feel like they are going through life in a haze. Often times your vision even get blurry, like you are trying to see the world from the back of your skull. Our reflexes slow down and you might even find that it takes longer to process and react to a joke or comment. One of the interesting parts is that you truly can’t feel your body, you know you are in your body and you move relatively normal. But if asked to feel an object or your own hands- it can be difficult because you are not really present in your body. 

The problem with humans is that we don’t get chased by lions or have a clear stop point to when we are in danger and when we are not. We are bombarded by distressing stimulus from our social interactions, to our social media, to even the pressure of our perfectionism. Top this off with physical, mental or sexual trauma and you learn to live in a very functional dissociated state.

We do not want to go through life like this and here’s why: If we are not present in our bodies likely our emotional social relationships are suffering. It is difficult to have empathy or care about another person when you can not feel your emotions. We may even detach from our loved ones and just try to ‘get through’ life. However, the really neat enjoyable parts of life require that we connect with others and ourselves. We need to participate in our own experience.

 

So this week we are going to work on understanding how present/mindful we are at any given point and learn to be mindful and present in our experiences.

My Challenge to you: 

How mindful/present are you right now? Using your 5 senses I want you to pay attention and re-center yourself in the moment. Notice what you hear, feel, see, smell, and taste. This is the best way to assess how much you are in your body today and how to bring yourself back to actually feeling. Do this as least 3 times a day (maybe cue yourself when you eat or some other prompt).

Try to stay mindful. Here comes the difficult part. Continue to use your 5 senses to experience each moment as you participate in life. Pay attention to your body and the emotions that come up. How is your breathing? Notice your gut feelings. Really experience what it is like to be you.

Then let me know how it went. 😉

Happy experiencing you friends!

-Jessie the Therapist