Being a firefighter’s spouse is not like the calendars. Sorry to disappoint. But over the years I have learned some incredible things from my follow EMS spouses that has helped me survive this crazy unique life. So if you are new to this, welcome to the club; if you started the club- see how true these aspects are to your family.
1. Flexible and adaptable
Although only one person is going into work, it affects the whole family structure when they leave. The fire schedule is crazy, so it takes a little time to get use to. As the person who is left to take care of the family, we have to be able to roll with the punches and keep the routine going.
2. Creative communication
There are weeks at a time were we get little to no talk time. Between being gone at work, kid activities, family obligations, and the need to sleep- the communication can end up being minimal. So we need to get creative. Ofcourse text messages and emails are utilized. But so are cards, small notes, our Amazon alexa, and phone calls even if it is only for a few minutes at a time. Communication has to be mindful because of how minimal it can be.
3. Different life
Plain and simple, family time and traditions are different in an emergency service family. Christmas may not be on Christmas or Birthdays may be celebrated a few days late or early. The part I did not expect was how others reacted to my husband being gone for holidays. Sometimes it turns into a sad look or even a full discussion on how we will ‘make it fun anyways’. It is very much okay that he is gone- he is apart of our holiday whether he is there physically or not.
4. Serious Priorities
Everyone has priorities, but with the limited time we have, time needs to be thought out. Family time is really relished because you might not see them for a few days. The single best advice I ever got was to take advantage of the time you have with them (be mindful and present) and don’t worry or stress when they are gone.
5. Strength
Some days are harder than others. Some days you are handling things that you would like your spouse to help you with. However, you find the inner strength to take care of situations and keep moving forward. Remember to do self care when you can and enjoy life’s little moments.
6. “Know a guy”
As you grow into the EMS family you start to gain a network of people who can help in varying departments. It is surprising the skill sets that people have once you start to ask around. Make sure you don’t abuse this benefit and give people the acknowledgement (and pay) that they deserve for their help.
My Challenge to you: What makes your niche in life so unique? Take some time this week to think about the benefits of being part of the social/work networks and how it is shaping your family. But most important, find a few moments to be completely in the moment with your family and enjoy the life you have created.
Happy relishing in the moment friends!
– Jessie the Therapist
Photo: BlueFox Press
