When you have had trauma in your childhood and you grow into adulthood, people often think that you leave it all behind. They think that because you had a rough childhood you will create the holidays that you always wished for. Unfortunately it can do the exact opposite. You may become irritable and frustrated among a storm of emotions. You can feel lost because you do not have memories to base happy traditions on. Or traditions can trigger all your negative memories and make it difficult to pretend you are okay. Here are some concepts to keep in mind as we dive into Christmas:

• Take ques from your kids/other people. If they are excited about something, you be excited too. Try to see the holidays from their point of view and jump from there.
• Know you will get triggered and be prepared to cope. Even write down the coping plan so that when your brain is foggy, you know what to do.
• Understand that the holidays will not be perfect. Even the best days are not perfect. So if something goes awry, take a deep breath and get back on track.
• Enjoy the holiday. Sometimes we get caught up in making it fun for other people, we forget to enjoy ourselves. Be mindful of the moment, slow down, and enjoy.
• Protect yourself and set good boundaries. If you are trying to please someone else but need to sacrifice your mental or physical health- do not do it. It’s better to be hated but healthy.
• Be thankful for the people and things that you have now. This is really what Christmas is about. Helping others, being grateful, and enjoying the people you love.

You are strong. You couldn’t have made it this far without your strength. Remember that you are amazingly resilient and that life is what you make it. And you are making it a good one.

Be safe, keep each other safe, and be kind to yourself.

See you next year friends.

-Jessie the Therapist