Sorry for the pun- I can’t help it!
This time of year has always been a little difficult for me. I (among most people in this world) have a past and are not proud of all the things in it. Halloween time specifically always brings up memories of Halloween parties and low self esteem emotions. Which leads into thoughts of fights I didn’t take the high road on, sad situations I have witnessed/experienced, mean things I have said, all the way back to ripping the arm off of my sister’s E.T. doll when I was seven. (Again- sorry Terri.)
Brains are awesome how they can recall all your crap so quickly, right?!?
But it is important to note that we are not our past. Now, our past influences us, motivates us, and even haunts us at times- but we get to decide what we are today. Everyone can change for the better.
The first step is to accept that this experience happened to you. Ask any therapist, acceptance is the first step. 🙂 Next, try and remedy your bad behaviors/actions- ‘My name is Earl’ style, if possible. Third, your going to decide who and what you would like to be. If you want to be better than your past poor behavior/action, then you need to have a clear expectation of what and why you want it to be. This will make it easier because you will have a clear goal in mind and a set path to follow.
And finally but most important: Just try to be a little better each day.
You are not perfect. And you will not achieve your goal flawlessly on your first attempt. All you can do is do your very best and try to be a little better each day. It may not seem to be much at first, but as you get going and look back, you will notice how big of change you have made.
For me Halloween is much more fun now. Since having kids, Halloween has become about them having a good time- not me trying to be cool (which I have accepted, I am not). Now I act as silly as I would like and enjoy the creative parts of the holiday. Plus, I get the honor of showing them the fun parts in life and hopefully how they should love themselves for who they are.
My Challenge to you: Try to accept yourself for who you are now. We all have a past, some better than others. And it is apart of us but it does not define us. This week I want you to notice when you have negative self talk about yourself and then go through these steps:
- Accept that whatever happened- whether you were the cause or not.
- Remedy that behavior/action if possible/if needed.
- Make a clear expectation/goal of how you will act in the future.
- Try to be a little better each day (which will result in long term success).
Happy ‘loving you for you’ week friends!
Have a Safe & Happy Halloween!!!
-Jessie the Therapist
