So you have been wronged and now you are looking for some sweet sweet revenge huh? Well the best revenge is not really the revenge that we think about at 2 am. And let’s be honest- you would totally get caught and end up making a booger bubble in front of a bunch of uniformed hotties. So instead of that scenario, try this one first.

– Have a sit-down.

Take a moment to feel the emotion and play out all the ridiculous scenarios you are irrationally thinking. Do you want to key their car, ruin their reputation, or simply show the world how horrible they are? Make sure to play the whole scenario out, including when you have to go to court to pay for damages, the emotional distress of social implications, and so on. This is a good way to get the whole perspective.

– Root.

Figure out why you are angry. All anger has a root emotion. Is it embarrassment, guilt, sadness, betrayal, being ashamed? This is self honesty time. Take the time to understand why you are here and what other elements are playing into it.

– Get Calculated.

Remove negative emotion and create a goal. Make sure this goal does not involve the frustrating individual and is focused on positive change. Would you like to make more positive friends? Be in an environment where you feel appreciated? Writing it down can be helpful to stay focused.

– Create steps.

Cover the ground between where you are now and your goal. Make the steps small and achievable. And make sure that it includes aspects that simply make you happy- like hobbies and self care.

– Start moving.

Be the change you want to see. Stay focused and kind. When you start moving in this positive direction, all other negative forces have less influence and power.

Key factors in successful revenge:

• Stay focused on the positive.
• Understand your fears and how to push past them. Find supports, get confidence, educate yourself and create a plan for when the fear comes.  
• True supports are not negative or toxic. Figure out who is a good support and make it positive for everyone. Make sure to be clear with your intentions and goals.
• The opposite of love is not hate, it is indifference. So don’t care about what the other side is doing. Just stay focused on your goals and how you are going to make things better for you and the people around you.
• Reflect on why the situation occurred. You get to know yourself when bad things happen. Try to improve on yourself to prevent being taken advantage of or put in an uncomfortable spot.
• Cheerlead others. If you are positive, you are less likely to dwell in the anger or sadness. Plus you get to help others in positive change too!
• Be a good example. Don’t get emotionally mad or speak ill about others. Stay calm in upsetting situations and take leadership roles when the opportunities arise.

My Challenge to you: Best revenge is not thinking or worrying about that other person. Be you and be positive. Don’t wish ill on that person, simply don’t think about that person at all. When you are focused on your positive goals, you will rarely find time to ponder the spiteful people around you.

Happy revenge friends!

– Jessie the Therapist

 

Photo by: Matheus Ferrero