I learned very early in my career to not read the comments that people write on my articles & segments. People over the internet tend to take their filters off. Instead of me personally reading each comment and over-analyzing what people meant, my editor reads them and lets me know the general highs and lows of people’s opinions (and if there is any to respond too). But this protocol does not work in real life interactions.

Recently I accidentally overheard a small group of men and women looking at this website and commenting on my looks. One man in particular was commenting on my small chest size, large forehead, and the ‘ugly vibe’ of my face. (I’m not saying where to try and make this as anonymous as possible.)

I had about a million thoughts run through my head including- running away and crying, finding a mirror to evaluate my forehead, punching the guy in the gut, egging his house- and so on. I became flushed with watery eyes and suddenly felt very uncomfortable in my own skin. When I made eye contact with one of the women in the group, the rest of the group turned toward me and they became silent and solemn. Of all the comments that were running through my head, the only one that came out was, “wow. That’s really rude.”

I know this whole thing is not about me. Rationally I know that something is going on with them that makes them feel like they can talk badly about another person that they don’t know. But it still hurts. I personally had hoped by the time I entered my 30’s I wouldn’t care if this situation came up. I know I’m an alright person, I’m a good mom, and I genuinely care about others well being.

This is me- the real me- with no make-up or caffeine. And it’s okay to be real.

Even feeling like I have an understanding of myself, this was surprisingly conflicting.  

However, getting mad will not help them understand the hurt and will not make me feel better. In the wake of the election it seems that the country is full of hate. It can be hard to see that there is still kindness and love in the world. Hate does not combat hate- it breeds it. So let’s make time this week to make the world a little kinder.

My Challenge to you: Our challenge this week is actually two challenges.

First: Let’s spread some love instead of hate this week. Do something nice for someone else without wanting anything in return. It can be as simple as taking the time out of your day to talk with them and see how they are. Or as complex as buying someone groceries or babysitting for free. Let’s be nice to each other, because the world can be a beautiful place and we can make it even better.

Second: Every time you are in front of a mirror this week, take a moment to note something wonderful about yourself both physically and internally. As humans we tend to be very harsh on ourselves and others. Every single one of us is beautiful in a different way. We all have the right to enjoy life and be confident. When we are more positive with ourselves, we are more positive with others as well.

You all are wonderful & thank you for being kind to each other!

-Jessie the Therapist